I am proud to write that after two weeks of diet and exercise I lost 3.5 pounds and .5 inch off my waist, thigh, and hips. That was enough to fit into a pair of jeans I bought last year! I am not so proud to write that this third week was off the charts. Girl Scout cookies beckoned. And much as I tried to resist, I just couldn't. So, I gained about a 1 to 1.5 pounds. Ugh. Especially since I can actually see results. I'm so afraid I'll keep backtracking!
It's exhilarating to lose weight and get thinner (when one is so big). But at the same time, it's scary. I'm so used to wearing a certain size and having my clothes fit a certain way. And now, those clothes are baggy, and they're not fitting very well. So, while I like that they're bigger, I don't like that they emphasize my size by making me look sloppy. And I don't want to buy more clothes because I don't intend on wearing them long as I want to lose more weight.
It's like a catch-22. Ugh!
So, next week - let's try again. What derailed me this week was Girl Scout cookies and bread. So, next week it's veggies and fruit and as little processed grain as possible. And lots of water. I need to cut back on the diet cokes too, but they help suppress my appetite. I drink between 3 and 7 a day. Even just the 3 a day is too much, but I sure do like them.
What also derailed me this week was an increasing metabolism. At least I think that what it was. The last few days I would eat and just 1.5 hours later I'd be hungry again. I'm like hungry all the time. I try to eat right, but it goes straight through me. It helps some when I drink water, but that lasts only a few minutes.
I so want to get in shape! I go to the gym at least 3 days a week, and I try to get a brisk 2 mile walk at least 1 or 2 days a week. And I don't mind any of that. I actually look forward to it, which is something I've never looked forward to in my entire life. It's the eating and presence of any type of food that is keeping my progress down. I've started a diet log where I write (almost) everything that I've had and tabulate the calorie counts. My goal is a maximum of 1500 calories a day. This is based on feedback from a personal trainer I used for 6 months. (It's more expensive than I can afford at this time. Otherwise, I'd still be using her.) It's very difficult for me to keep below 1700 calories, so I'm still working on this. I'd say this is my biggest challenge. That and the "I am due" mentality that hits me every weekend.
One of my new year's resolutions is to lose 25 lbs. So far I've lost 4 pounds. I've got 21 lbs and 10 months to go. So, I've got to improve my will power and self control! Help!
25 February 2007
15 February 2007
Th-th-th-thursday
It's Thursday, it's Thursday! Only one more day till the weekend! I finally found the cause for the difference. All that effort, and it was one line, one variable. I referenced the wrong variable. One change later, and the world was once more sweet. The tests are now with the BA (Business Analyst), and I'm now working on code coverage. I need 100% code coverage, which is why I had to do so much testing. I love Xpeditor!
Today went smoothly. No issues (yet) at school. Lunch with a coworker. I went to the gym but didn't work out - I weighed in and measured. In 2 weeks, I've lost 3.5 pounds. I lost 1/2 inch each in my waist, thigh, hips. At first I was bummed it was only 1/2 inch, but then I realized that was a 2 week difference. So, it actually seems pretty good. Now I gotta keep it up. Diet - diet - diet! It is getting easier to make the right choices. And if something is just too tempting, I make sure it's only 1 or 2 times max a week. And I make up for it by working out extra and/or eating more carefully for a few days. You go Girl! (Always nice to pat oneself on the back.) I am SO not motivated to fix my lunch for tomorrow. But I've got to. It keeps me on the straight and narrow.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Other than dealing with the fallout of school issues, it was an ok day. Chris went with me to work. He did his homework and read. It was Early Release day, so we left around 12:45 to pick up Cassie. I spent the afternoon working from home, in the living room, while C & C enjoyed reading - in the living room. If I have to work from home because of their misdeeds, they get to suffer some while I'm working. Not that I would call reading suffering, but as no computers, TV, Gameboys, etc. was permitted, they felt it was suffering enough.
We ordered pizza for C&C&G and Rufus and I went out to dinner. Amazingly, I kept to my diet - mahi and broccoli. It was nice and relaxing and delicious. Rufus gave me some lovely tulips. My maternal grandmother grew tulips. They circled the trees in the backyard. - I'm getting tired. Stayed up too late last night, and now I'm paying for it, so signing off. Till next time.
Today went smoothly. No issues (yet) at school. Lunch with a coworker. I went to the gym but didn't work out - I weighed in and measured. In 2 weeks, I've lost 3.5 pounds. I lost 1/2 inch each in my waist, thigh, hips. At first I was bummed it was only 1/2 inch, but then I realized that was a 2 week difference. So, it actually seems pretty good. Now I gotta keep it up. Diet - diet - diet! It is getting easier to make the right choices. And if something is just too tempting, I make sure it's only 1 or 2 times max a week. And I make up for it by working out extra and/or eating more carefully for a few days. You go Girl! (Always nice to pat oneself on the back.) I am SO not motivated to fix my lunch for tomorrow. But I've got to. It keeps me on the straight and narrow.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Other than dealing with the fallout of school issues, it was an ok day. Chris went with me to work. He did his homework and read. It was Early Release day, so we left around 12:45 to pick up Cassie. I spent the afternoon working from home, in the living room, while C & C enjoyed reading - in the living room. If I have to work from home because of their misdeeds, they get to suffer some while I'm working. Not that I would call reading suffering, but as no computers, TV, Gameboys, etc. was permitted, they felt it was suffering enough.
We ordered pizza for C&C&G and Rufus and I went out to dinner. Amazingly, I kept to my diet - mahi and broccoli. It was nice and relaxing and delicious. Rufus gave me some lovely tulips. My maternal grandmother grew tulips. They circled the trees in the backyard. - I'm getting tired. Stayed up too late last night, and now I'm paying for it, so signing off. Till next time.
13 February 2007
Turbulent Tuesday
Well, at least Monday was good. Today was a bit more exciting. I still didn't figure out why my test has a difference. But I do have a suspicion. That is first on my agenda tomorrow. That and mentoring a newbie, a not so newbie, and an up-and-comer. (The picture is of my husband's nephew (on the left) and his crew - Iraq. He is SUCH a sweetie! Check out his MySpace - he's known as Carface.)
I woke up this morning, as usual, each time my alarms (yes, alarms) when off. I just didn't get up until 45 minutes later. So, I got to work at 7:30 - my almost usual time. Then, at 11:00, the first of two wonderful phone calls. This one from my son's middle school. He was involved in an altercation at the beginning of second period, and as a result, he is suspended for one day - Valentine's Day. Lovely.
At 1:00, the second of the two phone calls. This one from my daughter's high school. She got a second school bus referral - blocking the aisle with her legs. And now she's suspended from the school bus for a day - Valentine's Day. Double lovely.
The good thing, if it can be called good, is that my son didn't initiate the altercation. He was being harassed, and he retaliated in kind. The other boy admitted as such, so both were punished. There isn't anything good about being suspended from the bus. It means I have to leave work early to pick her up. Fortunately, my boss understands. And since I can work from home, I can make up my time tomorrow. I have plenty of work!
Gabe was such a chatterbox today. I took him to the gym with me. He enjoys the daycare. And once again, he was playing pretend - pretending to prepare and eat food. I had a good workout - 8 minutes on the ARC, 15 minutes on the Elliptical, and workout the legs and butt. The burn feels good!
Well, hopefully tomorrow will be better. Chris is going with me to work. No Gameboy, all homework and reading. Nice and boring. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. We're going to a Japanese buffet restaurant called Wasabi's. I'm still debating whether to take the kids or let them have pizza at home. Remember, they're serving suspensions tomorrow. Other than that, it'll be another day. Valentine's Day is well and good; it just comes at an inconvenient time.
Happy Heart Day!
12 February 2007
Quiet Monday and All About Gabe
It's been a quiet Monday. Actually, a rather good Monday. I woke up early this morning - 5:15. Not necessarily by choice. Rather, it was a combination of a vivid dream and the pressing need to relieve myself. Once up, it was easier to stay up than to go back to bed and oversleep. So, I got to work at 6:45. There are quite a bit of people at work that early in the morning. Get to go home early, which is a bonus.
Not much happened at work. I'm running tests for file rebuilds that I'll be doing. All but one of the first set of tests went fine. I spent the better part of the day trying to figure out why I have a data difference that's seemingly unrelated in the last test. Couldn't find it, so that will be may only order of business tomorrow until I figure it out. I've got a beta install in 2 weeks, so it's imperative that I figure this out quickly.
Left work at 3:15 and went to the gym. An hour later I was off to pick up Gabe. And then it was home. We were home by 6:00. Dinner was on the table by 7:15, and Gabe and I spent the rest of his evening working on his puzzles. He does love his puzzles. Gabe is my 3 year old. He's Autistic. When he was born, he was perfect. But as the days went by and he didn't progress, I grew concerned. Physically, he was fine. Developmentally, he was what I called a "bump on a log." He rarely reached out with his hands and arms, and he rarely kicked. He had nystagmus (rapid side to side eye movement), and he never cooed. It seemed as though no one would take me seriously when I said something was wrong. So I called and got him an appt with Early Steps. At 3 months of age, he was a developmental 2 week old. We got him into occupational and physical therapy right away. A year later, and he was age appropriate for gross motor skills. But still no talking.
By this time we had seen several doctors, had 2 MRI's, several blood workups including a genetics test, and more that I can't even think of now. No one could pin down just what was wrong with him. And until then, we had to keep searching. In the meantime, though, through Early Steps, we got him into speech therapy while he continued occupational therapy.
Another year passed. Still no talking. Wait. One word. Can we guess what that word is? One guess, 2 letters, the first one is 'N'. That's right! N-O, no. Complete with side to side head shaking. It was extremely frustrating. Then, we finally got in to see a neuro-psychologist. More testing, and the diagnosis we had been pushing away for 2 1/2 years - Autism. I cried through out the entire meeting and the rest of the day. It was devastating.
Fast forward 8 months later, and here we are. At home, Gabe is learning sign language. This facilitates his communication without needing anything but himself. It also facilitates occupational therapy. Gabe is also in a ESE Preschool class specifically directed for Autistic children. At school he uses PECS to communicate. I've been partially trained in the use of PECS, but knowing my family, it'll never be done consistently at home. Thus the sign language.
As for his personality - he's come such a long way. I am so proud of him! Gabriel is an affectionate little boy. He loves playing tickle, gives hugs and kisses, and when he's done wrong he seeks you out to be comforted. Just 2 days ago, Gabe actually played pretend! He was watching Elmo. Elmo fell down, so Gabe fell down. And Gabe lay there while mommy oohed all over him. Then he jumped up 'all better', and we celebrated. Gabe also actively uses the sign language he knows to communicate his wants and needs, and he is becoming more receptive to learning more signs. As we show them to him, for the most part, he will imitate them without prompting. He's learning that this helps him express himself!
And Gabriel is speaking 2 new words! 'Yes' and 'movies'. You know when he says 'yes' - he says 'ess', but it's good enough for me! As for 'movies', he signs the word and says 'meese'. Again, good enough for me!
Gabe is now 3 years and 2 1/2 months old. I'd say that verbally, he's 8 months; and developmentally, he's 2 years. But he's going through a growth spurt right now - not only physical but mental and emotional. I am thrilled as is dad. We comment almost daily about things he's doing that he never did before. It is wonderful seeing him grow.
The rest of my Monday is winding down. I'm finishing off this blog, and then I'll fix my lunch for tomorrow. I'll watch CSI: Miami and head off to bed. And maybe, just maybe, Tuesday will be just as good as today was.
For now - happily content - good night.
Not much happened at work. I'm running tests for file rebuilds that I'll be doing. All but one of the first set of tests went fine. I spent the better part of the day trying to figure out why I have a data difference that's seemingly unrelated in the last test. Couldn't find it, so that will be may only order of business tomorrow until I figure it out. I've got a beta install in 2 weeks, so it's imperative that I figure this out quickly.
Left work at 3:15 and went to the gym. An hour later I was off to pick up Gabe. And then it was home. We were home by 6:00. Dinner was on the table by 7:15, and Gabe and I spent the rest of his evening working on his puzzles. He does love his puzzles. Gabe is my 3 year old. He's Autistic. When he was born, he was perfect. But as the days went by and he didn't progress, I grew concerned. Physically, he was fine. Developmentally, he was what I called a "bump on a log." He rarely reached out with his hands and arms, and he rarely kicked. He had nystagmus (rapid side to side eye movement), and he never cooed. It seemed as though no one would take me seriously when I said something was wrong. So I called and got him an appt with Early Steps. At 3 months of age, he was a developmental 2 week old. We got him into occupational and physical therapy right away. A year later, and he was age appropriate for gross motor skills. But still no talking.
By this time we had seen several doctors, had 2 MRI's, several blood workups including a genetics test, and more that I can't even think of now. No one could pin down just what was wrong with him. And until then, we had to keep searching. In the meantime, though, through Early Steps, we got him into speech therapy while he continued occupational therapy.
Another year passed. Still no talking. Wait. One word. Can we guess what that word is? One guess, 2 letters, the first one is 'N'. That's right! N-O, no. Complete with side to side head shaking. It was extremely frustrating. Then, we finally got in to see a neuro-psychologist. More testing, and the diagnosis we had been pushing away for 2 1/2 years - Autism. I cried through out the entire meeting and the rest of the day. It was devastating.
Fast forward 8 months later, and here we are. At home, Gabe is learning sign language. This facilitates his communication without needing anything but himself. It also facilitates occupational therapy. Gabe is also in a ESE Preschool class specifically directed for Autistic children. At school he uses PECS to communicate. I've been partially trained in the use of PECS, but knowing my family, it'll never be done consistently at home. Thus the sign language.
As for his personality - he's come such a long way. I am so proud of him! Gabriel is an affectionate little boy. He loves playing tickle, gives hugs and kisses, and when he's done wrong he seeks you out to be comforted. Just 2 days ago, Gabe actually played pretend! He was watching Elmo. Elmo fell down, so Gabe fell down. And Gabe lay there while mommy oohed all over him. Then he jumped up 'all better', and we celebrated. Gabe also actively uses the sign language he knows to communicate his wants and needs, and he is becoming more receptive to learning more signs. As we show them to him, for the most part, he will imitate them without prompting. He's learning that this helps him express himself!
And Gabriel is speaking 2 new words! 'Yes' and 'movies'. You know when he says 'yes' - he says 'ess', but it's good enough for me! As for 'movies', he signs the word and says 'meese'. Again, good enough for me!
Gabe is now 3 years and 2 1/2 months old. I'd say that verbally, he's 8 months; and developmentally, he's 2 years. But he's going through a growth spurt right now - not only physical but mental and emotional. I am thrilled as is dad. We comment almost daily about things he's doing that he never did before. It is wonderful seeing him grow.
The rest of my Monday is winding down. I'm finishing off this blog, and then I'll fix my lunch for tomorrow. I'll watch CSI: Miami and head off to bed. And maybe, just maybe, Tuesday will be just as good as today was.
For now - happily content - good night.
09 February 2007
Beading a Bracelet
"It's Friday night and I ain't nobody. I got some money cause I just got paid. and now I wish I had someone to talk to, la la la la la la la la" - I can't remember the rest of the words. It's an old song. I can't even remember who wrote/sang it. I keep hearing it in my head, though. It might have been Cat Stevens, or whatever he's known as now.
I don't know why I'm starting tonight off with that. I just am. I'm beading a bracelet off a pattern I found in the August 2006 edition of Bead and Button magazine. It's just an embellishment off a ladder stitch. It's so easy! I love the colors I'm using; pearl, champagne pink, red wine, beige, It looks so rich. So far I've completed 2 bracelets. I've done the third, all but the fastenings. And I'm almost done with a fourth. The only reason I've not finished the third is because that's actually my first. I used a double strand of Nymo D thread. While I was happy with the outcome, I thought I needed to use something sturdier. I don't want the bracelet to break like some of my earlier creations.
So, I bought some Charcoal Fireline (4lb) from the bead shop (The Bead Hawk). I used a different variation on the colors, and while I liked that one, too, I wasn't all that thrilled about the Charcoal color of the Fireline. The color can be seen through the beads as they are not opaque. So, while I finished that bracelet off, I went searching on the web for the Crystal Fireline. I'd already looked in my local stores - Walmart, Jo-Anne's, sports and fishing stores, etc. But all I could find was 6lb Fireline. While I'm willing to bet this thickness is still good for beading, I wanted to stick to 4lb Fireline. I finally found Crystal Fireline on eBay (Beadaholique is the vendor). Very reasonably priced, too. So, the 3rd bracelet was done using the Crystal Fireline. Yup, that's the ticket! Now I'm thinking about undoing the first bracelet and redoing it using the Crystal Fireline. I probably will.
What I'm hoping to do is to make enough of an inventory of several different items that I can display them at work around Christmas. It would be nice to have some gratification outside of the house. We'll see.
Well, I'm going for now. It's late, and I'm tired. Night.
I don't know why I'm starting tonight off with that. I just am. I'm beading a bracelet off a pattern I found in the August 2006 edition of Bead and Button magazine. It's just an embellishment off a ladder stitch. It's so easy! I love the colors I'm using; pearl, champagne pink, red wine, beige, It looks so rich. So far I've completed 2 bracelets. I've done the third, all but the fastenings. And I'm almost done with a fourth. The only reason I've not finished the third is because that's actually my first. I used a double strand of Nymo D thread. While I was happy with the outcome, I thought I needed to use something sturdier. I don't want the bracelet to break like some of my earlier creations.
So, I bought some Charcoal Fireline (4lb) from the bead shop (The Bead Hawk). I used a different variation on the colors, and while I liked that one, too, I wasn't all that thrilled about the Charcoal color of the Fireline. The color can be seen through the beads as they are not opaque. So, while I finished that bracelet off, I went searching on the web for the Crystal Fireline. I'd already looked in my local stores - Walmart, Jo-Anne's, sports and fishing stores, etc. But all I could find was 6lb Fireline. While I'm willing to bet this thickness is still good for beading, I wanted to stick to 4lb Fireline. I finally found Crystal Fireline on eBay (Beadaholique is the vendor). Very reasonably priced, too. So, the 3rd bracelet was done using the Crystal Fireline. Yup, that's the ticket! Now I'm thinking about undoing the first bracelet and redoing it using the Crystal Fireline. I probably will.
What I'm hoping to do is to make enough of an inventory of several different items that I can display them at work around Christmas. It would be nice to have some gratification outside of the house. We'll see.
Well, I'm going for now. It's late, and I'm tired. Night.
08 February 2007
The Friendship Fence
It's strange being on the other side of the friendship fence. In earlier blogs I wrote about my mistreatment of a high school friend and being mistreated by a former boyfriend. I broke up with the boyfriend to save myself and my sanity. And my friend gave me the heave ho to save herself and her sanity. While I'm glad I broke up with the boyfriend, I am sad that my friend wants nothing to do with me. Even after 20 years.
A lot changes in 20 years. Back then I was an immature, self-centered, self-serving, tease. I was easily influenced and quickly seduced by the lure of the 'bad boy' and all the trappings that came with it - alcohol, drugs, sex. And I flaunted it all over the place regardless of the consequences. Fly forward 20 years and I'm a career woman (with the same company for 18 years), a wife, a mother of 4; still someone who likes to have fun but more prudent and more considerate of others.
Eighteen years after breaking up with the boyfriend, I occasionally think of him. Sometimes it's with tenderness; other times it's with lots of anger. It's those times (the angry times) that I want to make him suffer emotionally. And I want to be there to witness his suffering as a form of payback. Does the friend who gave up on me do the same? Does she remember to good and want payback for the bad?
I know I could never associate with my former boyfriend in any way. I wonder if it's the same with my friend? If I only had the opportunity to talk to her face to face. I've tried apologizing - I am truly sorry - several times, but no response. I really should give up. I would just like the opportunity to tell her that I valued, and still value, her friendship during those tumultuous years. That I've been a much better friend to those who came after her. And that I strive to be the type of friend she was to me. I'll likely not have that opportunity, but I'll keep hoping.
A lot changes in 20 years. Back then I was an immature, self-centered, self-serving, tease. I was easily influenced and quickly seduced by the lure of the 'bad boy' and all the trappings that came with it - alcohol, drugs, sex. And I flaunted it all over the place regardless of the consequences. Fly forward 20 years and I'm a career woman (with the same company for 18 years), a wife, a mother of 4; still someone who likes to have fun but more prudent and more considerate of others.
Eighteen years after breaking up with the boyfriend, I occasionally think of him. Sometimes it's with tenderness; other times it's with lots of anger. It's those times (the angry times) that I want to make him suffer emotionally. And I want to be there to witness his suffering as a form of payback. Does the friend who gave up on me do the same? Does she remember to good and want payback for the bad?
I know I could never associate with my former boyfriend in any way. I wonder if it's the same with my friend? If I only had the opportunity to talk to her face to face. I've tried apologizing - I am truly sorry - several times, but no response. I really should give up. I would just like the opportunity to tell her that I valued, and still value, her friendship during those tumultuous years. That I've been a much better friend to those who came after her. And that I strive to be the type of friend she was to me. I'll likely not have that opportunity, but I'll keep hoping.
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