Celebrity Junkie II: KStew and RPatz

Yes, yes, yes, the celebrity junkie is back. And it is about this month's couple in the spotlight; Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. The tabloids have published pics of Kristen (aged 22) in the arms of Rupert Sanders (aged 41), who directed Kristen in Snow White and the Huntsman. He is married to model Liberty Ross (aged 33)and she is in a long-term relationship with Robert Pattinson (aged 26).

The majority of what I've read indicates that
1) Robert Pattinson (RPatz) moved out of his and Kristen's shared home, won't have anything to do with Kristen and is working really hard to hold his head up.
2) Kristen Stewart (KStew) moved out out too and is holed up while beating herself and crying buckets of tears.
3) Liberty Ross is considering divorce and is flaunting her independence.
4) Rupert Sanders is doing all he can to keep Liberty from divorcing him.
5) Liberty and Robert should be sainted.
6) Kristen and Rupert should be burned at the stake.

Well, maybe not that bad. But from what I've read, Kristen is reaping more than her share of negative vibes and judgement while Rupert Sanders is the "poor misguided" older man whom Kristen bewitched. Ahem. Let me read that again. Rupert Sanders is 41 years of age. Kristen is 22. Rupert has been married 7 years and has 2 children. Kristen has been in a relationship with RPatz for 4 years. And what's worse...the tabloids toss about words like "affair" and "intimate" when no true intimacy has been confirmed.

All that has been confirmed is a hug and a loved-up kiss. And the lives of several people are now potentially forever compromised. How sad. How sick and sad that money mongering people have to chase others around, forever sticking cameras in their faces, yelling to get their attention, and then selling photographs to the deepest pockets. Yes, the objects of the paparazzi work as actors, models, and directors, to mention a few. Yes, their names and faces may be known world over. But guess what. They are people. They pee, poop, fart, burp, chew with their mouth open, snore, and every other disgusting thing the rest of us "normal" people do. They wake up grumpy, have pimples, go a few days without washing their hair or shaving their face/legs. They go to the store and shop for tampons, underwear, socks. They get angry, are misunderstood, get their feelings hurt, get depressed, have weak moments.

And now. Now a 7 year marriage and a 4 year near-marriage are possibly irreparably destroyed. I truly hope not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watch the Twilight movies, but there is one thing you can't deny. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have a very real chemistry and a very real relationship. Or at least they had one. And I, for one, hope they can repair their relationship. Because even from very, very afar I see a very special duality between the two.

But more important to me; I hope Kristen Stewart will continue to be strong. Even when she feels weak. She stays try to herself. She acts like a bad-ass, but when hundreds of cameras are jockeying for a prime shot 24x7, I would act the same too. Moreover, knowing myself, I would be arrested more than a few times for spitting, hitting, breaking cameras, kicking and cursing. That Kristen does none of these things speaks of immense self-control.

Jodie Foster wrote an essay for the Daily Beast in which she addressed the turmoil Kristen has been facing. Who better than another child actor? One who successfully traversed the hills and many valleys and who is a successful, well-adjusted mother of two, still very much in the business. I quote directly from the article:

"My mother had a saying that she doled out after every small injustice, every heartbreak, every moment of abject suffering. “This too shall pass.” God, I hated that phrase. It always seemed so banal and out of touch, like she was telling me my pain was irrelevant. Now it just seems quaint, but oddly true … Eventually this all passes. The public horrors of today eventually blow away. And, yes, you are changed by the awful wake of reckoning they leave behind. You trust less. You calculate your steps. You survive. Hopefully in the process you don’t lose your ability to throw your arms in the air again and spin in wild abandon. That is the ultimate F.U. and—finally—the most beautiful survival tool of all. Don’t let them take that away from you."

(Entire article can be viewed: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/08/15/jodie-foster-blasts-kristen-stewart-robert-pattinson-break-up-spectacle.html?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=cheatsheet_morning&cid=newsletter%3Bemail%3Bcheatsheet_morning&utm_term=Cheat+Sheet)
Bottom line, give the young people a break. Give them room, space, time. Let them work their issues out in private. As for Rupert and Liberty, they have a few decades on Kristen and Robert. They have a few more years of life-experience. They can work it out.


And Jodie Foster? One day I'd like to meet you. A good conversation will be had.

Not a Good Day

I'm in a bad place. Not physically, but mentally, emotionally. I've battled depression and self-worth issues for most of my life. I'm happy to say the truly dark times have been few and far between. But lately, with finances being what they are and no one to really talk to about it, it's been getting more difficult to stay positive. What keeps me going are my children - human and animal. But even there, I feel overwhelming guilt that I should be doing more.

Since we moved to the house were are presently living in, it seems as though we are having to stretch our dollars further. For the longest time, really since Baby Rufus died, I've not been motivated to keep on top of the finances. I've been doing the finances since the children were little. But when Baby Rufus died and my happy world collapsed, everything changed. I couldn't find joy in my life. Yes, my children were my joy. And yes, Gabriel is the light of my life. But other than them, I didn't enjoy everyday life. It was so bad that I even gave up that which I've loved doing since before I can remember - reading. Only in the last 1 1/2 to 2 years have I really been enjoying books again. That is about 8 years.

And honestly, I think the only thing that really thumped my out of my hole was the bout with cancer. I was forced to do literally nothing for 6 months. That gave me time to reflect, rest, and just 'be'. And while it kick-started me, it didn't get me totally out of the low-grade depression I think I've been in. So, I've been half-heartedly participating in life, not really doing anything but just going along, day by day, being pulled up by the obligations of family and job.

And so, I finally started paying attention to my life. The problem is, while I was in that hole of low-grade depression, the bottom dropped out of everything else. Financially, we are hosed. I mean, if we didn't have all the medical bills, we might actually be breaking even by the end of the year. But we owe about 10K in medical, and we need to pay about 2K before the end of the year for medical expenses that have nothing to do with the 10K we already owe. DD needs her wisdom teeth removed. They are causing serious issues. And I have a tooth that needs a root canal. And DYS needs new glasses as his old ones aren't strong enough for him to see the chalkboard. And DOS should  be attending college this upcoming semester. Oh, and DH's truck - necessary for transportation - is on the fritz and needs about 2K in repairs.

All of this is over and above our monthly bills which we are about 1 a month behind. I tried working 2 jobs for about 3 years. It wore me into the ground. I could do it again, but should I? DH flat out refuses to get a 2nd job. And why should he? Since I manage the finances and they are in the toilet, it's not his fault. Yes, we've talked about him taking over the bills. But he won't step up to the plate. He's all talk and no action.

Which leads to the other major issue. DH and I. We are in a funk, rough patch, bad stretch, whatever. We are more like flatmates than husband and wife. And when we try to talk, we follow the same pattern we've followed for 20 years, which basically means we don't talk about anything other than softball and the weather.

I try talking to my mom, but it's hard. Because one, she wants to solve her baby's problems and she can't and two, she's not all that crazy for DH anyway and anything I say just makes it worse. I am always afraid she thinks I'm asking for money when really all I am trying to do is get all this angst off my shoulders for a bit. So, for today, this post is handling my angst. While I will post it for other to read, I may remove it as it says a lot more than I probably should say.