Gabe, School, and Autism

Whew! We are now in our fourth week of school. Gabe is doing great and it is sooo nice.

Gabe is our youngest child. He is two months shy of 9, and he is in the 3rd grade. His progress to this point has been nothing short of miraculous. As written in the Earth Angel post (http://myredefinedlife.blogspot.com/2011/11/earth-angel.html), Gabe has special needs. These are primarily neurological in that Gabe is Autistic. He was diagnosed when he was 2 1/2 years old. He also has some minor physical needs. He has weak fine motor skills. What that means specific to him is that he has weak hand coordination and strength.

A brief background: Gabe has been in a form of therapy (Physical, Occupational, Speech) since he was 3 months old. He was literally limp like a rag doll when he was born. And he had nystagmus (uncontrollable eye movements). We referred ourselved to Children First, a federal and state funded program that provides therapies for children birth to 3yo who are developmentally delayed 25% or more.

Long story short, Gabe learned to roll over when he was 11 months old. He walked 3 months later. His hands were balled into fists at birth, and after intensive therapy and hand splints, he was able to actually pick up objects on his own when he was almost 3yo. He spoke his first words when he was 3 1/2 yo. He had a vocabulary of almost 50 words a year later. He was successfully potty-trained when he was 5 yo.

Today, Gabe is right there with the other 3rd graders. And he talks waaaaay too much! We actually have to ask him to hush so we can have a few moments of quiet! He still needs help with activities that require hand strength. He is in an Inclusion class. Has been since he started 1st grade. And, for the most part, is a regular kid.

Autism, however, is a sneaky bastard. No two children manifest Autism the same way, and the severity is wide ranging. There are many symptoms. These include Avoiding eye contact, Social awkwardness (moreso than a typical child), Difficulty reading facial expressions and inability interpreting social interactions, Sensory sensitivities, Difficulty communicating, and Slowed emotional development. Loads of information can be found on the internet. We have lived with Autism for almost nine years now, and we are so used to Gabe's idiosyncracies that they are second nature.

Including low muscle tone, his Autism manifests itself several ways. The items listed here are the most obvious.

• Diet - Gabe doesn't eat meat. He enjoys cheese pizza but he will only eat Domino's, Pizza Hut or Sbarro. He eats primarily brown/beige foods - bread, crackers, pancakes, waffles, rolls, vanilla ice cream, apple sauce (under duress), vanilla wafers, to name a few. A very limited diet to say the least. Amazingly he is very healthy. We supplement his diet with vitamins, and he is in the 90th percentile for his age group in weight and about 100 percentile for height.
• Auditory - These set Gabriel off (upset him, he may stim out); vacuum cleaner, blow dryer, blender. Basically anything that sustains a white noise for a period of time. Loud noises also upset him. A raised voice distresses him immensely, regardless of where or from whom he hears it. I typically have a pair of ear plugs or his comfort blanket when we go to the movies, shows, concerts, arena games, etc. I think the worst is fireworks. This year, for the first time since Gabe was born, we went to downtown to watch the city fireworks. Gabe was huddled in two blankets, had my noise-canceling earphones on, and played children's music on my iPod the entire time. As hot as it was, and though the fireworks were across the river, Gabe wanted no part of it.

Quiet Monday and All About Gabe

It's been a quiet Monday. Actually, a rather good Monday. I woke up early this morning - 5:15. Not necessarily by choice. Rather, it was a combination of a vivid dream and the pressing need to relieve myself. Once up, it was easier to stay up than to go back to bed and oversleep. So, I got to work at 6:45. There are quite a bit of people at work that early in the morning. Get to go home early, which is a bonus.

Not much happened at work. I'm running tests for file rebuilds that I'll be doing. All but one of the first set of tests went fine. I spent the better part of the day trying to figure out why I have a data difference that's seemingly unrelated in the last test. Couldn't find it, so that will be may only order of business tomorrow until I figure it out. I've got a beta install in 2 weeks, so it's imperative that I figure this out quickly.

Left work at 3:15 and went to the gym. An hour later I was off to pick up Gabe. And then it was home. We were home by 6:00. Dinner was on the table by 7:15, and Gabe and I spent the rest of his evening working on his puzzles. He does love his puzzles. Gabe is my 3 year old. He's Autistic. When he was born, he was perfect. But as the days went by and he didn't progress, I grew concerned. Physically, he was fine. Developmentally, he was what I called a "bump on a log." He rarely reached out with his hands and arms, and he rarely kicked. He had nystagmus (rapid side to side eye movement), and he never cooed. It seemed as though no one would take me seriously when I said something was wrong. So I called and got him an appt with Early Steps. At 3 months of age, he was a developmental 2 week old. We got him into occupational and physical therapy right away. A year later, and he was age appropriate for gross motor skills. But still no talking.

By this time we had seen several doctors, had 2 MRI's, several blood workups including a genetics test, and more that I can't even think of now. No one could pin down just what was wrong with him. And until then, we had to keep searching. In the meantime, though, through Early Steps, we got him into speech therapy while he continued occupational therapy.

Another year passed. Still no talking. Wait. One word. Can we guess what that word is? One guess, 2 letters, the first one is 'N'. That's right! N-O, no. Complete with side to side head shaking. It was extremely frustrating. Then, we finally got in to see a neuro-psychologist. More testing, and the diagnosis we had been pushing away for 2 1/2 years - Autism. I cried through out the entire meeting and the rest of the day. It was devastating.

Fast forward 8 months later, and here we are. At home, Gabe is learning sign language. This facilitates his communication without needing anything but himself. It also facilitates occupational therapy. Gabe is also in a ESE Preschool class specifically directed for Autistic children. At school he uses PECS to communicate. I've been partially trained in the use of PECS, but knowing my family, it'll never be done consistently at home. Thus the sign language.

As for his personality - he's come such a long way. I am so proud of him! Gabriel is an affectionate little boy. He loves playing tickle, gives hugs and kisses, and when he's done wrong he seeks you out to be comforted. Just 2 days ago, Gabe actually played pretend! He was watching Elmo. Elmo fell down, so Gabe fell down. And Gabe lay there while mommy oohed all over him. Then he jumped up 'all better', and we celebrated. Gabe also actively uses the sign language he knows to communicate his wants and needs, and he is becoming more receptive to learning more signs. As we show them to him, for the most part, he will imitate them without prompting. He's learning that this helps him express himself!

And Gabriel is speaking 2 new words! 'Yes' and 'movies'. You know when he says 'yes' - he says 'ess', but it's good enough for me! As for 'movies', he signs the word and says 'meese'. Again, good enough for me!

Gabe is now 3 years and 2 1/2 months old. I'd say that verbally, he's 8 months; and developmentally, he's 2 years. But he's going through a growth spurt right now - not only physical but mental and emotional. I am thrilled as is dad. We comment almost daily about things he's doing that he never did before. It is wonderful seeing him grow.

The rest of my Monday is winding down. I'm finishing off this blog, and then I'll fix my lunch for tomorrow. I'll watch CSI: Miami and head off to bed. And maybe, just maybe, Tuesday will be just as good as today was.

For now - happily content - good night.

Gabriel's Gifts

Can you believe that almost two weeks have already passed in the new year! The children started back to school on Monday, and they already have days off! Friday for Teacher Planning Day, and Monday for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I wish I had that kind of schedule!

Gabriel seems to have started back to preschool fairly well. It's funny. When Chris was 3 years old, it didn't seem to matter whether he had naps or not. Gabe definately needs them! Half of the time he falls asleep either coming home or right after getting home (between 5:30 and 6:30) and stays asleep till the morning. Poor child! His schedule is up by 7:00, to daycare no later than 7:30, get the bus to school which starts at 8:30, on the bus at 1:30, back to the daycare by 2:30, and home around 6:00. The preschool only has 15 minutes of quiet time, no nap. And when Gabe gets back to the daycare, the other children have already had their naps. And Gabriel doesn't want to sleep when they're playing. So this is a bit of an adjustment for him - and us.

Gabriel seems to be babbling more, and yesterday he babbled to me as though we were having a conversation. Tonight, when I was putting him to bed, he actually hummed a bit. That was the first time I'd heard him hum.

At school, he is learning how to use PECS to communicate. At a high level, it's a notebook that contains sheets with pictures velcroed to them. The pictures are of things, foods, actions, etc. that Gabriel may want to eat, use, or do. The basic premise of PECS is that when Gabriel wants something, he gets the picture and gives it to the person he's 'talking' to. That person states what the picture is and uses it in a sentence, and then Gabe gets the item. This method not only provides a means of communication, but it also promotes verbal communication - at least that's what I've read, what my ESE teacher friend has researched, and what the documentation says. Hey. I'll try anything! My only concern is that it relies on the use of an item or items (notebook, pictures, etc.). I think about the consistency or lack thereof outside of school.

At home, Gabriel is learning sign language. Have I mentioned that in a previous entry? I don't know. Anyway, he knows cracker, drink, movie, please, and thank you very well. He can use these signs without prompting. He knows book and all done, but ya have to prompt him to use them. We are in the process of learning come, want, make, pancake, and help. Everyone in the family uses the signs when talking to Gabriel, and we always reinforce by repeating the word.

It does take some time for Gabriel to learn the signs. His fine motor skills are a bit weak, but with time, the process of signing will help his fine motor skills. You have to repeat the sign hand-on-hand several times over several days. And praise him every time he tries or makes the sign, whether he did it with prompting, help, or whatever.

Gabriel speaks one word very clearly. Can we guess what word that is? "NO" And he emphasizes it by shaking his head from side to side. So, we always know when there's something he doesn't like or want.

Gabriel is my miracle. I thank God for him every day. It was a sacrifice bringing him into this world; my selfish sacrifice. But I know Gabriel teaches me something new every day. His disabilities are his gifts to us all.