Gabe, School, and Autism

Whew! We are now in our fourth week of school. Gabe is doing great and it is sooo nice.

Gabe is our youngest child. He is two months shy of 9, and he is in the 3rd grade. His progress to this point has been nothing short of miraculous. As written in the Earth Angel post (http://myredefinedlife.blogspot.com/2011/11/earth-angel.html), Gabe has special needs. These are primarily neurological in that Gabe is Autistic. He was diagnosed when he was 2 1/2 years old. He also has some minor physical needs. He has weak fine motor skills. What that means specific to him is that he has weak hand coordination and strength.

A brief background: Gabe has been in a form of therapy (Physical, Occupational, Speech) since he was 3 months old. He was literally limp like a rag doll when he was born. And he had nystagmus (uncontrollable eye movements). We referred ourselved to Children First, a federal and state funded program that provides therapies for children birth to 3yo who are developmentally delayed 25% or more.

Long story short, Gabe learned to roll over when he was 11 months old. He walked 3 months later. His hands were balled into fists at birth, and after intensive therapy and hand splints, he was able to actually pick up objects on his own when he was almost 3yo. He spoke his first words when he was 3 1/2 yo. He had a vocabulary of almost 50 words a year later. He was successfully potty-trained when he was 5 yo.

Today, Gabe is right there with the other 3rd graders. And he talks waaaaay too much! We actually have to ask him to hush so we can have a few moments of quiet! He still needs help with activities that require hand strength. He is in an Inclusion class. Has been since he started 1st grade. And, for the most part, is a regular kid.

Autism, however, is a sneaky bastard. No two children manifest Autism the same way, and the severity is wide ranging. There are many symptoms. These include Avoiding eye contact, Social awkwardness (moreso than a typical child), Difficulty reading facial expressions and inability interpreting social interactions, Sensory sensitivities, Difficulty communicating, and Slowed emotional development. Loads of information can be found on the internet. We have lived with Autism for almost nine years now, and we are so used to Gabe's idiosyncracies that they are second nature.

Including low muscle tone, his Autism manifests itself several ways. The items listed here are the most obvious.

• Diet - Gabe doesn't eat meat. He enjoys cheese pizza but he will only eat Domino's, Pizza Hut or Sbarro. He eats primarily brown/beige foods - bread, crackers, pancakes, waffles, rolls, vanilla ice cream, apple sauce (under duress), vanilla wafers, to name a few. A very limited diet to say the least. Amazingly he is very healthy. We supplement his diet with vitamins, and he is in the 90th percentile for his age group in weight and about 100 percentile for height.
• Auditory - These set Gabriel off (upset him, he may stim out); vacuum cleaner, blow dryer, blender. Basically anything that sustains a white noise for a period of time. Loud noises also upset him. A raised voice distresses him immensely, regardless of where or from whom he hears it. I typically have a pair of ear plugs or his comfort blanket when we go to the movies, shows, concerts, arena games, etc. I think the worst is fireworks. This year, for the first time since Gabe was born, we went to downtown to watch the city fireworks. Gabe was huddled in two blankets, had my noise-canceling earphones on, and played children's music on my iPod the entire time. As hot as it was, and though the fireworks were across the river, Gabe wanted no part of it.
• Pain Tolerance - Gabe's brain does not register pain the way 'normal' folks do. As hard as we try, Gabe has had several encounters with fire ants. He doesn't notice they are eating him up until they are halfway up his legs and he is covered in welts. We regularly treat our yard to minimize this. He is learning how to measure his surroundings. We are still learning this.
• Wandering - Gabe is a wanderer. When Gabe was non-verbal, and before we put door/window alarms everywhere, he sometimes slipped out of the house and was down the street before someone noticed he was gone. And it has happened at school a few times too. Even though he talks now, we are still vigilant. He is still prone to wandering off. And extra steps are taken at school.
• Stimming (self-stimulation - a form of self-comfort/self-relaxing) - When Gabe was younger he did some hand flapping. But I think his most prevalent form of stimming is wrapping himself in something and rocking. I made Gabe several felt blankets, and we rarely go anywhere without at least one.  Another of his more prevalent forms of stimming is clearing the nearest surfaces by pushing everything within his reach to the floor. He will move and push stuff to the floor, move and push stuff to the floor. This one is difficult as it is also what he does when he is upset or confused. We have been working on self-calming techniques at home and in school along with socialization skills.
• Socially Awkward - On an emotional scale, Gabriel is more of a 5 1/2 to 6 year old. I could go into lots of detail, but not now. Gabe is starting to realize he is different from the other children his age, and we do a lot of talking and we read All Cats Have Asperger's which is a wonderful book for young children. It explains, in a very cool way, how Autistic/Asperger's people have different strengths from 'normal' people. When Gabe has had a bad day, this is the book that makes him feel better.
• Ritualistic - This is the trait most relate to. Dustin Hoffman portrayed it beautifully in Rain Man. Gabriel has his own rituals he performs every day.
• Echolalia/Mimicking (repeathing back what you heard ... repeatedly) - This is Gabe's most obvious trait. He can listen to someone or something and repeat it back verbatim almost always. He uses the same intonation, cadence, accent, everything. He randomly breaks out in ditties he's heard on TV or the radio. He will repeat what you tell him. The thing is he will do it over and over and over again. But I have to say, he has a killer British accent.
• Limited Eye Contact - Gabe makes eye contact when prompted, but it is brief. We work with him all the time on this. Saying "Look at me" while pointing to my eyes is a regular occurrence in our house.

Many children experience a few of these traits. But when a child experiences a significant number of traits (of which these are only a few), there is the possibility of Autism. We are very lucky in that Gabe started receiving the help he needed almost from birth. He is high-functioning and does well in school. I think, for us, the social aspect is becoming more of a concern. So, Gabe is now playing soccer and is in a children's chorus. And his siblings, DH and I all watch over him when he is in a social setting. We try not to interfere so he can learn for himself, but it is difficult when we see other children singling him out. Sometimes he is oblivious, and other times he is confused. But he is making progress, and  we have hopes that Gabe will lead a productive, independent life.

Of all of Gabe's traits, his most endearing and enduring is his capacity to love. He adores his big sister, and she him. They have a very special  and close bond. Gabe is the only person to whom Cassie is completely unguarded. Gabe respects his big brother, and he has learned a lot from Chris. Chris is protective of Gabe. He helps Gabe with his homework, get him to do his chores, and is basically Gabe's surrogate parent when DH and I aren't home. As for DH and Gabe, It is almost the same as with Cassie. Gabe softens all the sharp edges, and DH goes out of his way for Gabe. And me? Well, like I wrote in Earth Angel, he is my angel. He goes with me almost everywhere, and we do almost everything together. Gabe really is the glue that holds our family together. His happiness and his progress is our commonality.