Celebrity Junkie: Tom and Katie

I am sometimes embarrassed that I am such a celebrity junkie. I have to admit that daily I troll websites such as http://www.dailymail.co.uk/, http://www.eonline.com/, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ and the like. I am one of those people who keeps up with the celebrity news of the day. Just ask me about Katy Perry, Ryan Reynolds or (gulp) Justin Bieber. Yes, these folks are entitled to their privacy. And if I were to meet them on the street (highly unlikely), I would most likely pass them by. Why? Because if they weren't famous, I wouldn't know them anyway. That and I don't want to be seen as a hanger-on. So, I enjoy their talents from afar and sometimes daydream that if we were to meet (in some inauspicious way), they would appreciate my talents and consider me know-worthy.

That said, I am compelled to comment on the 'big news of the week' that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise.

Good job, Katie! About time!

I've spent the last 24 hours reading several articles about how Katie 'blindsided' Tom, why she filed in New York, that there was no indication in Katie's demeanor, how it will affect Suri, yada yada yada. I may be eons away from these folks, but I think I can make some educated reasons the led to the divorce.

• It's hard living 24x7 in the limelight, most especially when the person impacted most is your beloved six year old child.

We all see photos of Suri Cruise. These are all from the photographers' view. But look at it from Katie's view. Everywhere Suri goes there also goes one to two hundred arrogant, loud and invasive photographers, each armed with mind-numbingly large lenses, each yelling, cajoling, barking at a precocious six year old, trying to get 'the' shot to be seen around the world.

• Being considered a 'has-been' at 33 can be a bit of a downer.

Tom Cruise is larger than life. He doesn't just live, he LIVES! Almost everything he touches turns to gold. He projects a seemingly perfect life. Since they married, Katie has yet to establish bragging rights for anything she's done professionally. Apparently, all projects must be approved by Tom and his cadre of image professionals. While Tom's projects reap profits (for the most part), Katie's projects shrivel and whimper through the cracks in the floor.

• Being forced to extol beliefs one doesn't embrace wholeheartedly can yield resentment.

Hmmm. Scientology. Nuff said.

• Standing by while said beliefs are rammed into your beloved child's every waking moment can also yield resentment.

As a parent myself, I firmly believe children are to be enlightened and not limited. Yes, there are restrictions. But only permitting one parent's perspective to drive a child's life puts that child at a significant disadvantage.

• Continually presenting a perfect life to the world even when it's not can be very tiring.

I am sure Katie has had her down times, as I am sure Tom has had his. But I tend to think that Tom is a bit less introspective than Katie, and if things are sunny he seeks it elsewhere. Not so lucky is Katie. She's the 'adoring wife' and as such is compelled to 'support' Tom. I sometimes think Tom is bipolar and that he is in a perpetual manic state. Must be very taxing to keep that smile on her face. Not only in front of the public, but also in front of Tom. Because, we should realize by now that Tom not only feeds off his millions of adorers, but he also needs total and absolute adoration from his wife. So, even when she's PMS'ing she has to put that 'happy face' on so Tom can feel worshipped and adored.

• Living separate lives can lead to, well, separate lives.

Tom has been busy on his projects while Katie has been busy rearing their daughter. He is traveling the globe, expecting her to do his every bidding, while she lives an insular life surrounded by papparazzi, Scientology trainers, and practically no one else. It has given her time to think. She's young, she's vibrant. Does she really think she will be happy living this kind of life for the next 50 years? I think not.

And therein lays the reason. Katie is seeking the happiness she once had. Peace, family, friends. These are all things she hasn't had in quite some time. She tried to make this marriage work. Tom isn't a jerk. But, this life, this marriage, it has reached its logical conclusion. It it time for Katie to open a new chapter.

You go girl!

Points to Ponder

Tis the day before Thanksgiving, and I don't have to cook. Through the generosity of my coworkers and friends, we have been blessed with enough food to last a week. And for that I am very, very thankful.

Today my Mac went kaboom. Since my mom is an Apple guru (at least to me she is), and it was her Mac first, I called her. While on the phone trying to work out what could be done we had a conversation the likes of which I don't think we've ever had. I'll try to describe it, but it's more of a rambling than anything else. I think.

Today was a good day. And though I told DH that food needed to be picked up at the local store at 6PM, he was a no-show. So, tired though I was, I took my youngest and we went to pick up the food. Midway through the store DH calls. I'm in line waiting for the food, my son is chattering away, and I'm exhausted, so I just said I was at the store and I'd be home soon. I go home to a seriously miffed spouse because I "couldn't wait for him to do what I'd asked." Crossed arms, stiff body, you know the drill.

Well, great. Been living with this man for over 20 years and he still hasn't figured that I really want things done when promised? I've compromised so many, many times. And I know he has too. The question I have is, do I want to continue compromising over so many different things? The other question is, am I settling? And then another question comes to mind. Is this how I want to continue living my life?

I know, I know. Such 'serious' questions. But you know what? These aren't new questions. I've had them for years. I mean, fell in love with this man so many years ago, and I married him without really talking to him about what he valued, what was important to him, and so much more. And through the years, we've managed to make it work.

But what drives me nuts. What really irks me. What I almost can't forgive is this defeatist attitude he has. Whenever anything goes wrong he almost always has the attitude "that's the way my life goes," like bad things always happen to him. And he droops into a state of moodiness and seeming self-pity. Then he doesn't want anyone to do anything to make it better.

Bad things happen to everyone! But when it happens, large or small, you keep moving forward. You find a way around it. Everyone's life has bumps in the road. No one can own "bad things." I refuse to believe bad situations can't be turned into something positive. So what if the laptop breaks! Yes, it pisses me off. And yes, I worry about how much it's going to cost to fix it, if it can be fixed at all. And yes, it is very inconvenient. And yes - it's going to weigh on my mind until the situation is resolved. But that doesn't mean we don't have other options. The important stuff is backed up on an external drive. And there are two other laptops available for use.

But the thing is, this happens all the time.Not the bad things. Rather, the defeatist attitude. And again, my question is, do I want to settle? Is this the best I can expect the remainder of my life to be?

I don't want it to be. I'd sell everything I owned just to move closer to my family. Gabe would have so much more interaction and such a different, fuller life. Chris would flourish. Cassie, if she came, would flourish too. Thing is, DH's home. His entire family is here. His life is here. And therein lies the rub. He's a good man. A good, good man. And I don't know that either of us is being entirely fair with the other, or entirely happy with the other. So, what to do? Continue this quasi-happy life? Or...what?

So much to ponder. Thanks for listening. Happy Turkey Day and stay safe!