Hope Springs Eternal

It's late, and I can't sleep.It's been a few weeks and I haven't posted on my blog, so tonight is the night.  I've got some things on my mind, and I want to share them.

First off, this has been an interesting year for me. The year started traumatically. My daughter was going through some very turbulent times with her then girlfriend who had some substance issues. DD is stubborn like her mom, and we butt heads a lot. So, it was just more of the same from the past 3-4 years. Then came a root canal. And a month later another root canal. Insurance was maxed out, so I had to come up with a creative solution to paying the endodontist. School boundaries changed, and my special needs son was moved to a new school. And any parent of an Autistic child knows that change is not a positive in the child's world. A month later and I'm in the hospital having a malignant tumor removed from my knee, which led to radiation therapy. And DD had not one, but two, nasty encounters with dogs. Both needed medical treatment, but she only received treatment from the second encounter - which almost resulted in a rabies series of shots.

I started back to work part-time in October, working from home. This led to several misunderstandings which led to a comedy of errors in paycheck sourcing, which also led to either no collection calls or an over-abundance of collection calls.

Now, many would say, and have said, "Wow, you've had a rough year." But it's funny. I don't view it that way at all. I view it as an opportunity to learn more about physiology, radiology, life, and myself. And an opportunity to de-stress; something that was well overdue. I hear the well-meaning remarks, but you know what? I'm okay. Really. I mean, the tumor was in my knee, not in my head. And I had to go through some painful processes. And money's been tight. And a whole bunch of other things. But here's the point. There are so many other people so much worse off than me and my family.

Take for instance Lynsey Lee (http://vitals.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/12/08/9303600-teen-says-blood-clot-after-taking-yaz-destroyed-her-life). She's only 19 and her life may never get off the ground. She's got an inoperable blood clot in her lung, she lost a scholarship, and she's had to severely curtail her activities.

And then there's a coworker who's had one heck of a year: Hysterectomy, divorce, motorcycle accident with broken collarbone, which led to the doctors finding a pre-cancerous mass in her right lung. Damn! This was all in 2011!  And there's another coworker whose only child was killed in an unfortunate accident back in June. On top of that there was a rash of deaths of several coworkers; like nothing we'd ever seen in our company. Every Monday, for almost the entire summer, we received a communication of a death in the workforce. That's 12 weeks! In over 20 years, I can honestly count on one hand how many coworkers died. Then this year came along.

I've had my share of sorrow, stress, pain and fear; the loss of a child, the birth of a special needs child, an unruly DD (who made me gray almost overnight), and cancer. But to put it in perspective, I'd like to share something from a group I belong to. We are given a question daily and have the option to reply. Yesterday's question was "What specific character trait do you want to be known for and why?" This was my reply; "Being positive and looking for the bright/funny side. There's so much sh*t in this world that can bring us down. Looking up. Well, you've got to. Otherwise, where would you be? So, in all I do, I want to be known for looking up."

And that is how I view life. Yes, bad things happen. No, there is no rhyme or reason. Nor is there any fairness to it all. So, the only way to come out the other end relatively sane and somewhat satisfied is to let it go. To look at life as the glass half full. When something goes wrong in the house DH, God bless him, says "that's how my life is." And I say, No, that is NOT how your life is. The same things happen to everyone. It's how you respond to them that makes the difference. It's what you learn from them. And what's taken me years to learn; look up. Be positive. There is always something to learn, to laugh at, to take with you.

I had a good childhood. I think for the first 16 years of my life we moved at least once a year. Sometimes 2 or 3 times. It was stressful. And I was always the new kid in school. And I always seemed to come from the wrong side of the train tracks. And money was scarce. But you know what? My sister and I got to spend every summer with either our grandparents in Pennsylvania or our grandmother in New Mexico. And as my parents, sister and I were traveling or moving, we got to visit so many different places across the United States. Not because we had to, but because we wanted to. We were in the vicinity, we had the time, so why not? And what I learned from our parents and our experiences was life is one giant classroom. We are always learning.

And that's why I want to be known for looking up. Because no matter what happens in life, the cup is always half full. I officially claim this as my own, original quote. And from hereafter, this quote is to be known as coming from Julia Elizabeth Melder Jenkins; "Hope springs eternal."

So, the next time something doesn't go your way, turn it around. This is your learning opportunity. And maybe next time....