Melancholy Movies

December 28 1/2 - it's 12:44 AM on the 29th. Last night (or rather early in the AM) I watched The Weight of Water. It was a melancholy suspense that reminded me of Smilla's Sense of Snow. I enjoyed the movie, but I didn't find that it was resolved to my satisfaction. What eluded me was the reason the main protagonist was so sad. Was it her growing rift with her husband, the Pulitzer Prize poet? Or was it the referred-to accident? What I do know is that I could relate to the overall atmosphere of the movie. That sense of mourning something lost but not really knowing what it was that was lost.

Speaking of movies, I highly recommend The Human Stain. Yet another melancholy movie. It stars Sir Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman. What a difficult movie to watch, but so riveting! All three movies share one common bond; keeping secrets portends doom. All three movies were also filmed similarly - with flashbacks to previous events. Thus we get two stories for the price of one.

Why am I on this train of thought? It could be my sense of feeling that I should be happier in my life but for whatever reason, I feel like I just missed the boat. Here I am with a husband who loves me, albeit in a singularly uncommunicative fashion, three children who are for the most part healthy in mind and body, a job I enjoy, a home, transportation, etc. etc. But I am missing something. I'm thinking more and more that what I'm missing is the companionship Rufus and I only very occasionally have - like once every 5 or 6 months. And I'm missing a social life of any kind. Many of our friends have moved away or moved on; and we're finding it more difficult to hook up with other couples. Here we have 2 teenagers and 1 toddler, and though more families are becoming like us, we are still an anomaly. Add to that the fact that Rufus is black and I'm white, and we're living in the South. A recipe for being singled out.

We've been living in our neighborhood for 15 months now, and we have yet to know any of our neighbors by name. Trust me, we've tried by bringing dinners and gifts to the couple next door when they had their daughter, offering assistance to the man across the street when he was sodding his yard, mowing the neighbor's yard when her husband was out of town. But no go. The neighborhood we lived in before moving to this one (both in the same subdivision) was Social Central. We all knew each other's business! And we all took care of each other's families. But this neighborhood is seriously in need of some communications training!

In a few days, 2007 will begin. A chance for a fresh, new start. I wonder what I'll commit to for the year? I'm already thinking of a couple for personal growth, some for social growth, and some for familial growth. Well, a few more days to think about it.

Good luck and think happy thoughts!

Twas the Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house
Not a person was happy, not even the spouse.

I may exaggerate. Christmas day, for the most part, was fine. The kids got us up around 7:30. We opened presents in record time - 1 hour. Then, Cassie, Chris and I went to Christmas Mass. Rufus and Tillie had gone to Midnight Mass the night before, so he and Gabe stayed home.

We got home at 11:30, and I commenced to preparing Christmas dinner. Turkey in the oven, and I went about picking up the scraps left from gift opening. Rufus relaxed by watching TV and playing Solitaire on the laptop. Cassie started learning Bass guitar, Chris played with his new IPod stuff, and Gabriel did a little bit of everything.

Tillie called around 1:30 letting us know that she was ready to be picked up. Rufus went to get her about 45 minutes later. They arrived, and the day continued.

Penny, Lonnie, and families came by around 3:30 and spent 90 minutes visiting. It was loud and fun. We all agreed to cook out for New Year's Eve. My only disappointment was that Rufus preferred to spend the time in the kitchen playing Solitaire than with his sisters. But then, they were talking girl and social stuff that he likely wasn't interested in.

We ate about 30 minutes after they left (to go to the movies). Afterwards, I cleaned the kitchen and prepared Tillie's leftovers. Rufus took her home about an hour later. It was a very nice visit with the MIL.

Rufus took Gabriel with him when he took Tillie home. So, Gabe was, thankfully, asleep when they got home. The evening was spent helping Chris and Rufus with their PC games and the IPod Shuffle setup. I tried to watch "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest", but I kept getting interrupted. That's when the day broke down. Rufus needed help with the Shuffle, and I had to work around him. I made a nicely placed remark about my doing all the work, and Rufus jumped at the bait. "You're not the only one who does anything around the house." No remark from me, and Rufus stalks off to take a ride. About 15 minutes later the Shuffle was configured and ready for songs.

After being on my feet just about all day, I was ready to crash. Rufus's and my little encounter apparently upset me, and my stomach rebelled. So, I went to bed and promptly fell asleep. Rufus came home, went to bed, and got up this morning w/o us talking.

Lovely Christmas.