Aahhh, it's one of those years. You have sucky relationship years, you have great ones. You have yucky money years, you have great ones. And then you have those years that everything is pretty much on an even keel. Well, this year is not one of those! I think it's a sucky year for relationships and health issues.
First the health issues. About 5 weeks ago a coworker didn't show, didn't call in, nothing. We all know she lives alone. I'd been trying to mentor her, so I thought I'd check up on her. Well, I call and no answer. I try again and I get her but she sounds really bad. So, I tell her get ready cause I'm taking her to the doctor. Long story short, she almost bled out; they had to transfuse her with 7 units of blood. She almost died! Longer story short, Stage III Uterine cancer, spread to a couple lymph nodes and intestine. Lots happened in the past 5 weeks - moved her to an apartment, sold her house, became her emotional surrogate mother, helped her get started with chemo/radiation. Takes a lot of time, energy, self. Then, last week, another coworker had emergency surgery for an intestinal obstruction. She'll be out for at least 6 weeks herself. Yikes!
As for myself, a few years back doctors noticed I have a heart murmur. Up to now I haven't really stressed about it. I just take my antibiotics when I go to the dentist, etc. Well, at a recent gyn annual, it was very apparent to the nurse practitioner (whereas before it was faint if heard at all). So, now I get to go for a wellness checkup (which I belatedly realized I should be doing in conjunction with my annual gyn appt). Lovely. Now I'm nervous.
As relationships go. Hubby and I have hit a low spot. I don't think it's as low as some we've had below, but it's the lowest we've had for a few years. How would you like it if your husband said you were a strange one on your 14th wedding anniversary and then three days later tells you you're not his soulmate but he'll stick with you till his soulmate comes along. On the one side, it's good he feels comfortable expressing himself. On the other side, why the hell would he say that unless he's getting distracted? And, how do you respond to something like that? I have to admit that he probably isn't my soul mate. My first love was likely my soul mate, but he was totally messed up. But why say it? And now? It does wonders for one's ego. And it keeps me wondering. I'd love to ask him about it, but he's not the type of person who will talk that sort of stuff up. Matter of fact, he pretty much sucks at communication. And he admits it. I have learned to take what I can get and tiptoe around the rest.
But I shouldn't have to tiptoe around the rest. I do know that having children complicates the matter immensely. Would we still be together if we didn't have children? Probably not. Are we staying together just because of the children? I don't think so. I think two people who aren't soulmates can be together and work together and eventually become each other's soulmate. It all depends on how each partner approaches the relationship and what and how far each person can or is willing to work out with the other. So, I'd like to think that though we may not be each other's soulmate, we can become each other's soulmate. It just depends on how willing each of us is to work toward a common goal.
